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Sunday, April 21, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors: Phone Call

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors. Today's excerpt is a continuation of the manuscript I've been sharing for the last few weeks. To recap, my hero and heroine have been captured by terrorists after their plane crashes in the Amazon. The leader of the bad guys said that he knew David's (my hero) father which doesn't seem too likely because David is the son of an former America president. Turns out they do know each other. I'm picking up today near the end of the phone conversation between the president and the bad guy. The bad guy speaks first.


“I will return your son and his woman and consider my debt to you as paid.”

“It’s paid.”

Rafael pursed his lips. “I have your word you will not ever tell the authorities where I am to be found?”

“You have my word.”

“And you will not come here yourself?” he asked with a chuckle that to David almost sounded nervous.

“If my son is unharmed you have my word.”

“Ah, then we shall do business.”

Find more lovely sentences here.

26 comments:

  1. Well, now. This is all very suspicious. Wonder what will happen next?

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  2. This sounds intense. I wonder if they will keep their word. I enjoyed reading about this moment in the negotiations.

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  3. Hum, negotiating with bad guys? Not a good thing. I have the feeling this is going to get complicated.

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  4. The plot thickens, Elaine. Super eight! Oh those politicians-always in bed with the ones who can get them in trouble.

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  5. What a scary phone call! Everything hangs in the balance in that one little connection ... great!

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  6. I always enjoy reading about ominous negotiations like this. I doubt either side will be keeping their promise...Nice work!

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  7. I have a feeling that promises won't be kept here. Looking forward to the next instalment!

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  8. Very interesting, looking forward to next week!

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  9. Interesting and just sounds too easy somehow, so I'm waiting for a catch to crop up LOL. Terrific excerpt...

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  10. Wonder what debt he owes the ex-President.

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  11. Oh man, I don't trust this whole thing. ::biting nails::

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  12. Is the bad guy speaking to the current pres or David's father the former pres? at any rate fascinating dynamics. I'm not participating in WWW partly due to the A-Z challenge. Would love a visit lol

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  13. Oh, what's going to happen? This could get ugly...

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  14. Definitely makes a reader want to know ALL the rest of the story. Good #8Sentence. Intriguing.

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  15. Great 8! I love the suspense you've created. I'm dying to read more!

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  16. A former debt? I'll bet the son is wondering about that. A contract seems to be made for their release. But will it really occur?

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  17. Sounds like they're mixed up in some serious guana. Enjoyed the snippet and look forward to getting more details next time!

    ~Joyce Scarbrough

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  18. Red Wing Citizen, do you have sentences this week? If so, I can't find you in the list, or I'd read your eight.

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  19. Tsk tsk, all these seedy players making seedy deals. I can hardly imagine what'll happen next! Great work, Elaine!

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  20. I hope the terrorist is on the level when he says his hostage is unharmed.

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  21. And just what is that debt? Or do we want to know? Intriguing.

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  22. I don't trust him either. Why would a bad guy know the President? Sounds fishy to me. Great suspense, Elaine!

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  23. So David is able to hear both sides of the phone conversation? Speaker phone? Wonder what's making the bad guy nervous. Hmm...

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  24. Tense situation, all right. You're right in making the dialogue terse. There would be few wasted words in this situation.

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  25. Definitely need to know what's gonna happen next! Intense 8! :D

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