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Sunday, April 28, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors: The President Won't Like This

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors. We have about two more weeks in this series, and I'll wrap it up and share something from another work. To recap, my hero and heroine, David and Phaedra, are lost in the Amazon. They've been captured by bad guys who've made a deal with David's father for their release. This is the morning of their departure. A big thug comes to wake David and Phaedra up.


The burly, one-eyed man stood over him, a nine millimeter pistol in his hand.  He kicked at Phaedra’s knee to wake her. 

She cried out as David exclaimed, “Leave her alone!”

The man responded by kicking David’s ribs again.  This time pain blossomed in his chest and almost stopped his breathing.  He could only take small, shallow breaths around the sharp, stabbing pain. 

“David!” Phaedra screamed.  She scared a flock of parrots who loudly squawked to each other and flew away.
 
Find more lovely sentences from participating WEWRIWA authors here.
 
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29 comments:

Kylie Scott said...

I love the bad guys description. Great world building.

Oto said...

Interesting. Want to see where this starts or where it's going...both preferably. lol

Like a tard, I forgot to post my 8 sentences on wewriwa. College is consuming my soul when I need to write instead!

gemma parkes said...

Mean man, don't like him, but l'm enjoying your snippets and loved the parrot reference!

India Masters said...

Fab descriptive on the bad guy - burley one-eyed man. And screw the president. A girl gotta write what a girl gotta write.

Lauren said...

You've done a fantastic job with creating tension and structuring the sentences to keep the action pace fast and make me dying to know what happens next!

Virginia Kelly said...

I agree with Kylie, great world building. Love the parrots.

charmainegordon author said...

Ouch with the kicking. Super description and she rose to the occasion. Love it!

Elaine Smith said...

That is a tense little scene, big on pain and pace. I loved the details that created such a rich and vibrant world.

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

I loved the descriptions in this snippet. I felt like I was right there with the characters. You gave a visual, and supplied the sounds, too. Great job. I'm scared for the two. And I'm sure I don't like their captor.

Jenna said...

Excellent, fast-paced snippet. Great local color detail with the parrots. Can't wait for next week!

Veronica Scott said...

An all around terrific snippet to advance the story (and keep us intrigued LOL). I feel for poor David with those ribs! I too loved the parrots...excellent excerpt!

Sara Barnard said...

Ooohhh great imagery! I loved the parrots!!!!

J.Rose Allister said...

Ugh! God I hope they get away from this situation soon.

Owllady said...

I could picture all this easily. I like that the bad guy didn't even bother to say anything, just kicked people -makes him badder :D

S. J. Maylee said...

Truly frightening. I'm going to worry about them all week. :)

Sue Ann Bowling said...

I hope they get out alive. (And I will give captchas ONE try. If I can't read them, you don't get my comment.)

Cara Bristol said...

The parrots are a nice touch.

sue said...

Love the burly one-eyed man and the flock of parrots, perfect touch

Elyzabeth M. VaLey said...

This is truly not going to end well, is it?

Linda Morris said...

Sounds like a story full of adventure--one of my favorite kinds of books. Great snippet!

Ute Carbone said...

I really like those parrots, Elaine. I can hear them!

A.S. Fenichel said...

Thanks for sharing this very interesting snippet.

Siobhan Muir said...

Eep, stuff just got real. Good snippet, Elaine. :)

Ann Swann said...

Awesome and painful! Great tactile imagery!

Evelyn Jules said...

Well, the fun never stops for these two! Another great excerpt! Nicely done, Elaine! :)

Jennifer Gravely said...

Great stuff!

Carrie-Anne said...

That's one terrifying situation to be in. I hope they're able to get away from the bad guys.

Teresa Cypher said...

This is so good, Elaine. The descriptions are great. I love how having to face danger makes people pull together. You can see it with David and Phaedra. :-) Good 8 :-)

Paula Martin said...

Great description. I'm wondering how they're going to escape.