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Saturday, January 10, 2015

Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors

Welcome to Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors, your chance to sample the work of a talented group of authors. When you finish here, you can find more snippets at:

http://www.wewriwa.com
http://www.https://www.facebook.com/groups/SnippetSunday/

If you've been following these excerpts from the book I just finished, you know that my heroine just found some stolen drugs in her boyfriend's medicine cabinet. (She's a vet, and he works for her.) He denies knowledge of it but says he thinks he knows who did it. She doesn't believe him. I've done creative punctuation to get the length right. My heroine speaks first.



“Take your hands off me; I’m going home.”
The pain on his face was like a living thing. She could almost feel it racing through her own veins, devouring and ruining everything it touched. He held out his hand. "Don’t lose faith in me now. Believe me; believe in me. Don’t you know I’d never hurt you?”
Sorrow and anger nipped and raged at Aria.


16 comments:

Linda said...

Trust need to be earn so he'd better do something about it instead of begging.

P.T.Wyant said...

I really love this line:

She could almost feel it racing through her own veins, devouring and ruining everything it touched.

Sarah W said...

I'm with Paula---that's a great line, Elaine!

This is a romance, so I logically know this is reparable, but I'm still crossing my fingers that she doesn't say anything that will end this for good.

Very well done! :)

Teresa Cypher said...

Great job of writing this scene, Elaine. Emotions, action, conflict...it drew me in!

Siobhan Muir said...

I like his plea and I think he's going to have to work at it. And she has to have a little faith. Great snippet, Elaine.

Charmaine Gordon said...

You've written it all in eight short sentences. Beautiful and heartbreaking, Elaine.

gemma parkes said...

Excellent snippet of emotion and doubt.

Kate Warren said...

Was there something in the past that makes her doubt him?

I hope he's telling the truth, and that they can figure this out together.

Jennifer Reynolds said...

This looks bad. I hope he has proof.

JTsuruoka said...

Rough stuff & you deliver it well.

Gem Sivad said...

To trust or not to trust? When drugs are part of the question, I'm afraid I have to say, "no" is the answer.

Frank C. Etier said...

My favorite line,"The pain on his face was like a living thing."
It just occurred to me that if you switch it from a simile to a metaphor, it becomes, "The pain on his face was alive. And like all living things, it can be deceptive...or whatever way you want to take it.
Anyway, great line!

Chelle Cordero said...

I adore the analogy of the pain being a living thing - that makes it so palpable for the reader. I really feel for him pleading for her trust. Nice job.

Veronica Scott said...

I can see why she's having a hard time believing in what he's trying to tell her. A very painful moment for them both but I'm intrigued as to what will happen next. Great 8!

Iris Blobel said...

So much emotions in so little words. Loved it.
Hope she'll give him a chance!

Emmy Gatrell said...

Loved the last line. So much emotion. Great 8, can't wait to find out what she does next. But uh, maybe he should pony up the info, just saying.