Sunday, April 28, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors: The President Won't Like This

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors. We have about two more weeks in this series, and I'll wrap it up and share something from another work. To recap, my hero and heroine, David and Phaedra, are lost in the Amazon. They've been captured by bad guys who've made a deal with David's father for their release. This is the morning of their departure. A big thug comes to wake David and Phaedra up.


The burly, one-eyed man stood over him, a nine millimeter pistol in his hand.  He kicked at Phaedra’s knee to wake her. 

She cried out as David exclaimed, “Leave her alone!”

The man responded by kicking David’s ribs again.  This time pain blossomed in his chest and almost stopped his breathing.  He could only take small, shallow breaths around the sharp, stabbing pain. 

“David!” Phaedra screamed.  She scared a flock of parrots who loudly squawked to each other and flew away.
 
Find more lovely sentences from participating WEWRIWA authors here.
 
© Felixcasio | Dreamstime">http://www.dreamstime.com/">Dreamstime Stock Photos
& Stock">http://www.stockfreeimages.com/">Stock Free Images
at

29 comments:

  1. Kylie ScottApril 28, 2013 at 5:08 AM

    I love the bad guys description. Great world building.

    ReplyDelete
  2. OtoApril 28, 2013 at 5:41 AM

    Interesting. Want to see where this starts or where it's going...both preferably. lol

    Like a tard, I forgot to post my 8 sentences on wewriwa. College is consuming my soul when I need to write instead!

    ReplyDelete
  3. gemma parkesApril 28, 2013 at 8:30 AM

    Mean man, don't like him, but l'm enjoying your snippets and loved the parrot reference!

    ReplyDelete
  4. India MastersApril 28, 2013 at 8:32 AM

    Fab descriptive on the bad guy - burley one-eyed man. And screw the president. A girl gotta write what a girl gotta write.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LaurenApril 28, 2013 at 9:32 AM

    You've done a fantastic job with creating tension and structuring the sentences to keep the action pace fast and make me dying to know what happens next!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Virginia KellyApril 28, 2013 at 9:54 AM

    I agree with Kylie, great world building. Love the parrots.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousApril 28, 2013 at 10:15 AM

    Ouch with the kicking. Super description and she rose to the occasion. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. UnknownApril 28, 2013 at 10:27 AM

    That is a tense little scene, big on pain and pace. I loved the details that created such a rich and vibrant world.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Karen Michelle NuttApril 28, 2013 at 10:44 AM

    I loved the descriptions in this snippet. I felt like I was right there with the characters. You gave a visual, and supplied the sounds, too. Great job. I'm scared for the two. And I'm sure I don't like their captor.

    ReplyDelete
  10. JennaApril 28, 2013 at 10:53 AM

    Excellent, fast-paced snippet. Great local color detail with the parrots. Can't wait for next week!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Veronica ScottApril 28, 2013 at 10:57 AM

    An all around terrific snippet to advance the story (and keep us intrigued LOL). I feel for poor David with those ribs! I too loved the parrots...excellent excerpt!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sara HarrisApril 28, 2013 at 11:36 AM

    Ooohhh great imagery! I loved the parrots!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. JApril 28, 2013 at 11:37 AM

    Ugh! God I hope they get away from this situation soon.

    ReplyDelete
  14. OwlladyApril 28, 2013 at 11:52 AM

    I could picture all this easily. I like that the bad guy didn't even bother to say anything, just kicked people -makes him badder :D

    ReplyDelete
  15. S.J. MayleeApril 28, 2013 at 12:07 PM

    Truly frightening. I'm going to worry about them all week. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sue Ann BowlingApril 28, 2013 at 12:33 PM

    I hope they get out alive. (And I will give captchas ONE try. If I can't read them, you don't get my comment.)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Cara BristolApril 28, 2013 at 12:43 PM

    The parrots are a nice touch.

    ReplyDelete
  18. sueApril 28, 2013 at 12:46 PM

    Love the burly one-eyed man and the flock of parrots, perfect touch

    ReplyDelete
  19. Elyzabeth M. VaLeyApril 28, 2013 at 1:14 PM

    This is truly not going to end well, is it?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Linda MorrisApril 28, 2013 at 2:30 PM

    Sounds like a story full of adventure--one of my favorite kinds of books. Great snippet!

    ReplyDelete
  21. UnknownApril 28, 2013 at 2:47 PM

    I really like those parrots, Elaine. I can hear them!

    ReplyDelete
  22. A.S. FenichelApril 28, 2013 at 3:47 PM

    Thanks for sharing this very interesting snippet.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Siobhan MuirApril 28, 2013 at 4:27 PM

    Eep, stuff just got real. Good snippet, Elaine. :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Ann SwannApril 28, 2013 at 4:53 PM

    Awesome and painful! Great tactile imagery!

    ReplyDelete
  25. UnknownApril 28, 2013 at 7:21 PM

    Well, the fun never stops for these two! Another great excerpt! Nicely done, Elaine! :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousApril 28, 2013 at 9:14 PM

    Great stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Carrie-AnneApril 28, 2013 at 11:44 PM

    That's one terrifying situation to be in. I hope they're able to get away from the bad guys.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Teresa CypherApril 28, 2013 at 11:47 PM

    This is so good, Elaine. The descriptions are great. I love how having to face danger makes people pull together. You can see it with David and Phaedra. :-) Good 8 :-)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Paula MartinMay 1, 2013 at 4:08 PM

    Great description. I'm wondering how they're going to escape.

    ReplyDelete