Sunday, August 4, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors: You Whipped Him

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors.  In today's excerpt the king has arrived to collect his son from prison.  If you recall, Alan was sent to prison because he refused to marry the girl the king picked out for him.  When you finish here, find more lovely sentences at http://www.wewriwa.comhttp://www.wewriwa.com.

Excerpt:

"Turn around," King Bowdyn commanded. The prince did

so with absolutely no animation. Bowdyn stared at his son's back.

"You whipped him. He bears the scars from the flogging."
 

The keeper shifted uneasily as he clasped and unclasped his

hands. "He is not stupid. One flogging was all that it took, so the

scarring is minimal."


 
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15 comments:

  1. OwlladyAugust 4, 2013 at 9:25 AM

    oohh now what?! The king seemed friendly with the keeper, but now I get the sense that the king didn't expect him to whip Alan. Dang, every week I'm disappointed that the excerpt is so short :)

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  2. A.S. FenichelAugust 4, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    Elaine, I really like this story. Great job!

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  3. MaggieAugust 4, 2013 at 10:12 AM

    I want more! The King seemed stunned by the flogging. I want to know what happens next!

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  4. Teresa CypherAugust 4, 2013 at 10:35 AM

    So cold--the keeper. But he sure was nervous answering for the scars. I really didn't like the King much at this point. :-)

    Nice 8, Elaine!

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  5. S.J. MayleeAugust 4, 2013 at 11:45 AM

    I'm thinking the King is not happy about this. I really hope he's not. Fingers crossed. :)

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  6. gemma parkesAugust 4, 2013 at 12:23 PM

    Well if he whipped my son i would be gunning for him! But what did the king expect?

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  7. Veronica ScottAugust 4, 2013 at 1:47 PM

    I don't like any of them except the prince himself! Really engrossed in this story, can't wait for more. Great snippet.

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  8. UnknownAugust 4, 2013 at 2:20 PM

    Hmm, it'll be interesting to see how this plays out. Nice eight.

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  9. sueAugust 4, 2013 at 4:24 PM

    so the king put his son in jail but didn't want him beaten? and didn't convey his wishes? miscommunication or someone's in deep shit!

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  10. Kayci MorganAugust 4, 2013 at 4:26 PM

    The keeper beat the prince? Isn't that like committing suicide?

    Good snippet and great cover

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  11. Susan SchilerAugust 4, 2013 at 5:07 PM

    What a beautiful book trailer video, Elaine! Compelling :)

    You use great descriptive words, and I was able to envision Alan turning slowly, with no animation. Like the whipping only scarred his body and not his mind. Like he didn't care what his father, the king, thought or felt ... like nothing can touch him.

    Great 8!

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  12. Carrie-AnneAugust 4, 2013 at 5:09 PM

    It probably didn't feel minimal to poor Alan! It seems like the king might have some punishment in store for this breach of etiquette.

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  13. AnonymousAugust 4, 2013 at 5:19 PM

    Damnation with the flogging and scars on the good prince. So what happens next?

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  14. UnknownAugust 4, 2013 at 10:08 PM

    Glad it wasn't too bad for the prince...but still! Flogging? Eep! Great 8!

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  15. AnonymousAugust 10, 2013 at 5:53 PM

    Ouch.

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