“Let’s go
talk,” she said, reaching for his hand and leading him upstairs to the room
they’d shared ever since their marriage.
She sat down on the pale yellow sofa in the window and patted the space
beside her. “Sit down and tell me what’s wrong. You do look upset.”
He
shrugged off his jacket and reached into the inside pocket. His fingers burned when they touched the
picture. This was almost unbearable. How was flesh and blood supposed to endure
it?
I do have some good news to share. My current release Blue 52 is a RomCon finalist in the Readers' Crown contest. If you'd like to read the first chapter of Blue 52 you can find it at http://elainepcantrell.blogspot.com/2013/12/release-party-blue-52.html
You can find more excerpts from participating authors at:
http://wewriwa.com
http://www.https://www.facebook.com/groups/SnippetSunday/
You can find more excerpts from participating authors at:
http://wewriwa.com
http://www.https://www.facebook.com/groups/SnippetSunday/
Nice pic--beach and family...they go together well!
ReplyDeleteOne thing jumped out at me when I was reading your snippet. "She sat down..." followed by ""Sit down and..." Maybe vary the way you indicate sitting down? Perhaps, "She took a seat on the pale yellow sofa." ? Then follow through her telling him to sit down.
I like this story--and I really wonder what it is he has to tell her!! lol. You're such a story tease, Elaine.
Congrats on the RomCon Finalist for The Readers' Crown. Woot! Excellent book, Elaine, and I think it deserves the honor :-)
Thanks so much for your help. You're right.
DeleteI'm getting more and more intrigued by what he has to tell her...
ReplyDeleteI hope readers feel that way. Thanks.
DeleteI have a feeling she is not going to like seeing the picture in his hand either.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the contest!
No she won't. Thanks.
DeleteLoved the description. I too don't think she's going to like what's in this picture. Nice 8.
ReplyDeleteHolding my breath waiting for the revelation. Good luck in the contest, Elaine.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much.
DeleteGreat photo! Love the immediate sense of sheer joy there.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Teresa about the repetition of "sit". You could also leave out "sit down" from her dialog, or change it to "Join me and..." Love the suspense you've built up in the excerpt, Elaine.
Yes I have to change that for sure. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteGood tension sustained through these snippets.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I wondered as a writer, and given that I am seeing a segment of the story out of context, does the reader already know what the secret is by now? It makes a big difference to how this scene would come across depending on whether or not the reader is in the know.
Readers don 't know. They'll find out when Alex does.
DeleteUh-oh. A picture? What could this be about?
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the Rom-Con final-ing!
Y have me wondering what's in the picture.
ReplyDeleteThanks to everyone who stopped by and thanks to those of you who helped me see things I had to fix. I thought I had figured out how to answer each comment personally, everything got tossed in a pile instead of their proper places. Sorry. :(
ReplyDeleteGrrrr…the suspense is killing me! Another great snippet.
ReplyDeleteLoved the photo, so carefree! I'm with everyone else (although late in stopping by, thanks to being at RT) - very intrigued by what the photo may be about. Can't wait for more, great 8!
ReplyDelete