Sunday, May 25, 2014

Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors

Welcome to Snippet Sunday. Here's the secret some of you have been waiting to find out. I'm picking up from where I left off last week. My hero came home with life changing news for his wife. Totally unedited. See anything I need to fix?  From my latest WIP:

“Who’s the boy?” she asked as she stared at the blonde child in the photo. “He looks like a Landers.”
“He is.”
“Well? Are you going to make me pull it out of you? Who is he?”

The buzzing dizziness he’d felt earlier returned with a vengeance. “He’s my son.”

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17 comments:

  1. Brilliantly written. Simple,very realistic dialogue. The answer he gives his wife explains the white noise in his head.

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  2. wow! now we need to know the reaction to such revelation! great work!

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  3. Once he accepts it himself, he can answer with pride, "He's my son!"
    Well done.

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  4. Still a lot of tensions here. Revelations always have reactions. Can't wait for that. Simply but beautifully written.

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  5. Ah, can't wait for the backstory on this...a very tense moment for them. Excellent excerpt!

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  6. Wow! Life changing, indeed! Nicely done, Elaine. I really want to know more!

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  7. No wonder he's been afraid that this could bring his world crashing down. I'm looking forward to her reaction.

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  8. Oh, that's a helluva bombshell. Great snippet, Elaine. I think it flows pretty well as is.

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  9. Nice. I'm relieved it's not something terrible. Life altering, yes, but possibly hopeful. Like everyone else, I can't wait to see her response.

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  10. Oh there's a "what happens next??" moment if I ever saw one! Strong excerpt, Elaine. Cliffhanger!

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  11. How old is the child compared to his marriage?

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  12. Sue Ann, the boy is seven, and they've been married for ten years.

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  13. Just how understanding can a wife be? You've got us hanging here. Is it Sunday yet? Terrific, Elaine.

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  14. I think it's working. You've got strong dialogue and have ratcheted up the tension.

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  15. Ouch. Poor... everyone. :-( Really well done.

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  16. Oh my, quite a revelation. I'm certainly intrigued by what his wife has to say.

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  17. Oh that's not what you would expect to hear from your husband.
    Now so many things can happen.

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