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My snippet takes place right where I ended up last week. My hero has told my heroine that he had an affair and now has a child with the woman, a child he intends to bring into their home. I used some creative punctuation and added a dialogue tag in the last sentence to use more text. In the real version I don't have those semicolons. This is unedited so if you see something give a yell.
Nodding, she
stumbled on her way to the door. “Wait,” he begged; he wasn’t a man who begged,
but he’d do it now and be happy for the chance. “I’m sorry; so sorry. I’ve
never done a thing like that before or since, and if there was any way to undo
it I would. I love you more than my own life, and I betrayed you. That hurts me
almost as much as it’s hurt you. You’re my whole world, and I’ve torn your
heart out.” He drew a deep breath and said, “But even for you I can’t give him up.”
So, the main story is about their reconciliation and also maybe her stuggle to accept the child?
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like the perfect, emotionally-rich playground for your talents, Elaine!
Great snippet. I'm really curious to know how this story plays out.
ReplyDeleteI do admire his devotion to the child but wow, wrenching situation. Excellent excerpt!
ReplyDeleteOuch. This sounds like a very heart-wrenching and emotionally rewarding story. I'm looking forward to reading it when you're done.
ReplyDeleteOh man. He might have had a chance with all his words. But the last statement is going to drive the gap bigger. Great snippet, Elaine. :)
ReplyDeleteProblems with the expectation of monogamy.
ReplyDeleteThat was some pretty fine begging... right up until the end. Heavy stuff, nicely done.
ReplyDeleteHum, I get that he can't give up the child but he might get with the mother as well.
ReplyDeleteShe needs time and I hope she keeps on walking.