Everyone was
waiting in the living room for Rhett and the boy to arrive. The tick tock of
the old grandfather clock sounded abnormally loud to Alex, but that was only because
nobody had anything to say. All of them were waiting for their world to change
irrevocably. She hadn’t intended to join the family at all, but Hank and Daniel
had looked so surprised when they found out that she had agreed to wait with
them. Maybe she should. The boys were eager to meet Eric, but they had no idea
what changes he would bring with him. How would they feel about sharing their
father with another boy? She drew a deep breath when she heard Rhett’s car in
the yard; she’d know soon enough.
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That's a very tense situation. It's not like they had a word to say in the matter either.
ReplyDeleteNice build up of tension, sounds like the air is ready to snap! Well done.
ReplyDeleteGreat tension!
ReplyDeleteI know this is only a small part of the scene, but it seems like she's still avoiding her own feelings about this.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to meet her husband's son--I wonder what he'll be like.
I really like this story, Elaine! Good tension in this scene. You've got a great premise. It really makes me wont to know what happens. I think many readers will be so able to empathize with her very real reaction to the news--and her behavior that follows. Just imagine finding out something like that. But immediately, I thought that it wasn't any fault of the child.He deserves to be loved by all the people in his life. :-)
ReplyDeleteI wonder how old the boys are? The thought that their lives are going to change is a very mature concept, though a perfectly natural concern for her. Atmosphere to cut with a knife!
ReplyDeleteWhat a tough situation... no wonder there is so much tension. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteYour scene is one with which many can identify and most hope never happens to them. Either way, you've got your readers interested.
ReplyDeleteYou've captured a tense situation in a very realistic way. Lovely writing, makes me want to read more.
ReplyDeleteI love the detail of the ticking of the clock.
ReplyDeleteI'm really interested to see how everyone reacts. And this can't be any easier on Eric than it is on her.
Such an intense family drama and a great hook! Hopefully, the child will fare well. So hard on the wife though.
ReplyDeleteThis just keeps getting better and better as the story progresses. Everyone's wound up tight, including me the reader. Great 8!
ReplyDeleteHi, Elaine, I'm new to WWW so I haven't read any of your previous snippets, but I like this. As other say, there's good tension. My only problem here, and I realize that this is due to its being out of context, is that I want to know who all these characters are--the hero and heroine's sons? You do a good job creating the atmosphere of expectancy.
ReplyDeleteElaine, you've got us waiting and eager to know what happens next. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteOh the tension. I love that she's worried about her boys while she's in the middle of something so painful.
ReplyDeleteI need more context (like the ages of all three boys.) But you've certainly captured the tension.
ReplyDeleteNice... you've captured the mixed feelings of such a moment very well.
ReplyDeleteYes, hard to get past feelings of betrayal to embrace the offspring of the affair. Tense!
ReplyDeleteOh boy, it'll be interesting to see how the family responds. I hope it ends up being positive : )
ReplyDeleteCould feel the tension! Well done.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I could sit and wait in the room, I'd need something to do. Great snippet, Elaine. :)
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