Saturday, November 22, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday

Welcome to Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors, your chance to read excerpts from a talented group of authors. This excerpt from my current WIP Flood. It picks up where last week left off. In that excerpt my heroine picked one man over another to go river rafting with, and the one not picked showed up at her house to check things out.  This is unedited so if you see something give a yell.



Caleb lazily got to his feet. Oh, crap, he had a cocky expression on his face. Surely, he wouldn’t start anything at her house. His eyes bored into Jason’s. “Do you ordinarily butt in when you’re not wanted? She’s being polite, but can’t you tell she wants you to go and give us some privacy?”
Jason’s fists clenched as his face turned red. “Watch your mouth, Hawkins.”
"Or what?"
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16 comments:

  1. Siobhan MuirNovember 22, 2014 at 9:47 PM

    Who's starting what in her house? Ah the arrogance of men. Great snippet, Elaine. :)

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  2. FCEtierNovember 22, 2014 at 9:47 PM

    Tweeted and G+'d

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  3. UnknownNovember 22, 2014 at 10:12 PM

    It's a great read. The only thing I'm seeing is a mechanical issue. I would put a paragraph between these two sentences.
    His eyes bored into Jason’s. “Do you ordinarily butt in when you’re not wanted?"
    That's it. Other than that, fantastic!

    Mine:
    http://amodernvampire.blogspot.com/2014/11/weekend-writing-warrior-excerpt-1-pa.html

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  4. UnknownNovember 22, 2014 at 10:27 PM

    Ooh, can't wait to read the answer to that last question! :-)

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  5. CeciliaNovember 23, 2014 at 12:35 AM

    Great snippet, you can feel the tension.

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  6. Iris BNovember 23, 2014 at 3:50 AM

    Yes, or what? I'd like to know as well :-) great snippet!

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  7. Sarah WNovember 23, 2014 at 8:14 AM

    Of course he's going to start something! And it's going to be awesome! :D

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  8. Joanne StewartNovember 23, 2014 at 10:28 AM

    Hmmm...now I'm curious what this is all about. Great snippet!

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  9. Karen Michelle NuttNovember 23, 2014 at 11:46 AM

    Yep, or what? :) Enjoyed the snippet! (Tweeted)

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  10. UnknownNovember 23, 2014 at 4:02 PM

    Can't wait to find out what is going to happen next. :)

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  11. JTsuruokaNovember 23, 2014 at 6:58 PM

    Well... that ratcheted up quickly. Very nice.

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  12. Veronica ScottNovember 23, 2014 at 7:37 PM

    I bet we can all guess "or what", but that doesn't lessen the tension...great excerpt and I'm on the edge of my seat for more.

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  13. Carrie-AnneNovember 23, 2014 at 8:48 PM

    Sounds like a fight is brewing!

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  14. LindaNovember 23, 2014 at 10:50 PM

    Oh wow, are they gonna fight right there? I would kick both of them out!

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  15. Charmaine GordonNovember 24, 2014 at 8:11 AM

    Kick them out and start again with two or three other guys. That's what I'd do in real life. Now in fiction, you begin with conflict and you've grabbed all of us.Written so well.

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  16. Teresa CypherNovember 24, 2014 at 10:21 AM

    And so it starts. This is so real, Elaine. The dialogue is perfect. I could see (and hear) it happening. Nicely done!

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