Sunday, March 3, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors: Snakebite on the Butt

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors. Thanks so much for reading my sample.  Today's excerpt is from a yet unnamed manuscript that's waiting on revision.  My hero and heroine are stranded in the Brazilian rain forest. My heroine awakes in the night in need of a bit of privacy for herself.


If only she had a flashlight!  She tiptoed away from the fire and stamped her feet on the back side of a tree that she barely missed running into.  It would be just her luck to squat down and get a snakebite on her butt.  She could just see David cutting the fang marks with his pocket knife and sucking the poison out. 

Oh, yuck, yuck.  She’d rather die.  But wait.  Didn’t boas squeeze you to death?
 
Picture found at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rio_Madre_de_Dios,_Peru.JPG
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32 comments:

  1. Joanne StewartMarch 3, 2013 at 9:38 AM

    hahaha. Cute moment. I like how you took a very real fear and twisted humor into it.

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  2. AnonymousMarch 3, 2013 at 9:50 AM

    Terrific and a scary moment. Good eight with no END of possibilities.

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  3. AnonymousMarch 3, 2013 at 9:51 AM

    I really like this story. Love the adventure and romance.

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  4. Sara HarrisMarch 3, 2013 at 9:55 AM

    Haha, I love it!! I hope you post more from this story in the coming weeks! I have had to "go" in the backcountry quite a few times and the fear of snakebite is a very real fear ... almost as bad as the fear of squatting near some poison ivy ... :-)

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  5. UnknownMarch 3, 2013 at 10:25 AM

    LOL Poor thing! Yeah, that would be my luck too :P Great 8!

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  6. Teresa CypherMarch 3, 2013 at 10:32 AM

    lol, excellent, Elaine! I think the thought has crossed nearly everyone's mind who has ever had to squat in the wilderness while roughing it. :-)

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  7. Ann SwannMarch 3, 2013 at 10:41 AM

    Great scene ~ very comical.

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  8. KateMarch 3, 2013 at 10:42 AM

    I love how the one snake fear is replaced with the other. She's right about the boas, they aren't called constrictors for nothing. Cute snippet.

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  9. Karen Michelle NuttMarch 3, 2013 at 10:59 AM

    Elaine,

    I had to chuckle. What a wonderful scene. We have the character's fear of the unknown, her possible attraction to the hero, and a wee bit of humor, too. Loved it.

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  10. Paula MartinMarch 3, 2013 at 11:05 AM

    Great scene, and one we can all relate to!

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  11. NanMarch 3, 2013 at 11:07 AM

    Oh, fun! Love this look into her thoughts!

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  12. gemma parkesMarch 3, 2013 at 11:34 AM

    Well described scene!

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  13. Debbie D. March 3, 2013 at 12:01 PM

    I can just imagine the snake bite on the butt! Good imagery and leaves me wanting to know more.

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  14. Catherine CavendishMarch 3, 2013 at 12:16 PM

    There's more here than meets the eye... Great 8!

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  15. AnonymousMarch 3, 2013 at 12:41 PM

    Boas certainly do squeeze you to death, so why...? There's a lot of story in these 8 sentences. Really effective hook! Super!

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  16. DasNukMarch 3, 2013 at 1:09 PM

    So much fun, I love it!

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  17. HistorySleuthMarch 3, 2013 at 1:26 PM

    I loved the Yuck, yuck, she'd rather die. Too funny and very natural. Great scene.

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  18. sueMarch 3, 2013 at 1:52 PM

    the outdoors ain't always so great lol - excellent descriptions

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  19. Veronica ScottMarch 3, 2013 at 1:58 PM

    OK MY worst fear - snakes! I totally sympathize with your character...excellent excerpt!

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  20. Sue Ann BowlingMarch 3, 2013 at 2:07 PM

    Had to grin at this one.

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  21. Siobhan MuirMarch 3, 2013 at 2:36 PM

    Yes, yes, they do. Fun snippet, Elaine. :)

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  22. Cindy CarrollMarch 3, 2013 at 3:26 PM

    Great snippet. Loved her last thought. I would have been worried about giant spiders myself. I hope you post more of this. I want to see what kind of trouble she's going to get into.

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  23. OwlladyMarch 3, 2013 at 4:58 PM

    Oh, funny and not funny at the same time! Thanks for sharing this bit.

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  24. meryvampMarch 3, 2013 at 5:55 PM

    Oh, no, no. I would hate to be stuck in a rainforest. Humidity does awful things to my hair, and the spiders are huge! *shivers* But yes, the snakes would also creep me out. I've only had to deal with garden snakes and even then, I squealed like the girl that I am :)
    I really enjoyed this. I already get a sense of her personality within this short snippet. I can't wait to read more :)

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  25. Sarah WMarch 3, 2013 at 7:00 PM

    Love this! Dying of snakebite versus dying of embarrassment. There's a tough choice! :D

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  26. Virginia KellyMarch 3, 2013 at 8:12 PM

    Oh, funny, but very real concern. Love your snippet for telling us so much in so few words.


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  27. AnonymousMarch 3, 2013 at 8:18 PM

    I like how her thoughts turn to one snake to another in just the blink of an eye. Yikes, I think I'd we tmyself rather than go out in the dark!

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  28. Frank FisherMarch 3, 2013 at 9:51 PM

    The last line made me laugh. I enjoyed reading about her thoughts, nice 8.

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  29. Clare DavidsonMarch 4, 2013 at 4:05 AM

    Love how the heroine's thoughts were amusing, despite her dire situation. Nice touch.

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  30. MajankaMarch 4, 2013 at 4:45 AM

    Oh, I really like this excerpt. It's cute and funny. :)

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  31. AnonymousMarch 4, 2013 at 10:23 AM

    I'm massively frightened by snakes. What an awesome setting for a romantic adventure!!

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  32. Sarah BallanceMarch 16, 2013 at 6:57 PM

    LOL! I love that you even address this issue, but that you do it with such humor is awesome!

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