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Saturday, June 14, 2014

Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors

Welcome to Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors. My excerpt today is from my current, untitled WIP. It's totally unedited, so if you see anything give a yell. My hero Rhett just came home from Washington and told his wife he has a child with another woman. We're picking up where I left off last weekend. I've used creative punctuation so I can share more text. Rhett is the one speaking.

“You don’t want to face things head on and deal with them. You just …just dry up and …and hide from your problems. That’s been the way you’ve handled unpleasant things ever since I’ve known you, but we have to talk about this; we can’t avoid it.”
She folded her arms across her middle and stared out the window where the spring flowers she’d lovingly planted glowed in shades of red, yellow, and pink. “It was only one night,” he said. “I was in Washington, and I was so damn lonesome for you I couldn’t stand it. I met her at a party given by Senator Ryan. She…she looked a lot like you, and at the end of the evening she was going to call a cab, but I offered her a ride home, and …”

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11 comments:

Frank C. Etier said...

...and one thing led to another and Bingo!
You've got a story.
Kudos!

Linda said...

Oh god, he missed her so much that he got someone else?
I can't even believe that... What the hell was he thinking?

Gem Sivad said...

I'm with Linda. Not a good reason for shagging a look-alike (if the woman really was).

Siobhan Muir said...

Kudos for being honest, but I doubt this will console her. Great snippet, Elaine.

Sarah W said...

Wow. I'm not sure I'd go into details, here, if I were him.

He's scrabbling for excuses, here...

Veronica Scott said...

Oh wow, this is a sad but intriguing confession he's making. I wonder what her response will be?! Great snippet!

Sue Ann Bowling said...

He's trying, but I'm not sure any explanation is going to work.

Botanist said...

Understandable trying to explain things away, but not sure how he thinks this is going to help...

Karysa Faire said...

His lame-ass excuse sounds very realistic. I heard something very similar once (in the context of finding out about a child, btw) and your character's response is spot on. A person who's done something they feel ashamed about will find any way to explain the behavior in their own head.

P.T.Wyant said...

I agree with the others -- he just seems to be digging himself in deeper. And I'm curious to know if he plans to bring the child into his household, and, if not, why tell her about him? (Or did he really think she wouldn't be upset?)

So many questions!

JTsuruoka said...

Well-written. It's real and it's raw. Very nice.