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Sunday, July 28, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors: Going Home

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors.  My sample today is from The Enchanted.  I've skipped a few paragraphs, but we are still on the scene where my hero's father-the-king comes to collect Prince Alan from prison.  When you are finished here you can find more lovely sentences at http://www.wewriwa.com

Blurb:


Excerpt:

The clanking of heavy chains announced Alan's arrival. The

king set his silver cup down and beheld his son for the first time in

a year. "I almost did not recognize him. He is filthy, and his hair is

disgracefully short, but he has certainly put on a lot of muscle."
 

Kynthelig inclined his head. "Indeed."
 

The keeper's servant brandished a fan made of fluffy white

feathers and fanned King Bowdyn as he looked Alan up and down.

"He looks as if he has worked often in the sun."

Buy link: http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/The-Enchanted/book-tpsgacO2mEmDbmmXGbGwHA/page1.html?s=tuDO4VjSF0SsYfNrz16vXg&r=3

19 comments:

Evelyn Jules said...

Great excerpt, Elaine! Love the descriptions throughout, like the heavy chains and the feathery fan. Well done! :)

Karen de Lange said...

Great excerpt - you paint a very vivid picture of Alan and the state he's in!

Joanne Stewart said...

Lovely descriptions of him. I agree--you paint a vivid picture.

Debbie said...

Yes, I too enjoyed this descriptive passage and can picture Alan in my mind. :-)

charmainegordon author said...

You paint quite a ontrasting picture; the battered son and the cold king. Wonderful eight. Thanks, Elaine. I posted but didn't make the list. Please check my website.
7/28/13 WEWRIWA wp.me/p2froP-15g via

S. J. Maylee said...

Love the descriptions and the changes in Alan. I have a lovely image in my mind. :) I'm worried about him though. I need more.

Ute Carbone said...

Great description, Elaine. He sounds yummy! :)

Lauren said...

Poor Alan, thank heavens he's out of prison, but I must admit, I don't mind the idea of him being more muscled and tanned from the work in the sun LOL.

sue said...

worked in the sun - for shame!

Eleri Stone said...

Love how the king's criticism of Alan only makes him more appealing.

Veronica Scott said...

I think it's going to be VERY interesting what other changes there are to Prince Alan. Excellent excerpt!

Sue Ann Bowling said...

Somehow I don't think the changes are what the king was hoping for. Or would have hoped for if he'd been thinking.

Susan Stuckey said...

I can truthfully say I DO NOT like the King. Nice snippet! Good job.

Susan Schiler said...

Yes, I agree with Susan... I don't like the King either. Really, a year without seeing his son??

It makes me want to cheer for Alan, all the more!

gemma parkes said...

Great descriptions for describing the change in his appearance! Welcome back Alan!

Teresa Cypher said...

Such a great visual, Elaine. And I don't think I've mentioned how much I like your name choices. :-) Great 8! :-)

Millie Burns said...

What a jerk. Talks about his son not to him! I'm having some severe dislike for Alan's dad!

Sarah W said...

The comparison between Alan and his pampered father is striking.

I wonder if the King had to go through a year like this?

stevie-carroll said...

Some lovely details there.