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Sunday, January 4, 2015

Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors

Welcome to Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors, memes that give you a chance to sample the work of a talented group of authors. Just follow these links for more excerpts.

http://www.wewriwa.com
https://www.facebook.com/groups/SnippetSunday/

My excerpt today comes from a just finished WIP that I've been sharing excerpts from. My heroine just found a bottle of pain killer stolen from her clinic in her lover's bathroom. He just happens to work for her. It's unedited so if you see something give a holler. I used a bit of creative punctuation too so I could get the length I want.



His face was calm; it revealed nothing of what he might be feeling. “I’m disappointed in you, Aria. I thought you believed in me so I gave you my heart, and now you’re going to break it for me.” His fa├žade slipped, and she saw naked pain on his face. “I didn’t break into the clinic, but I have an idea who did.”
         “Oh, right!  Blame it on someone else. Some mysterious, shadowy figure that no one ever sees 

or knows; I’ve seen movies with that plot! ”

16 comments:

P.T.Wyant said...

He's disappointed in her? I kinda think that she's feeling more than disappointed in him at the moment.

Patricia Preston said...

Great suspense. Makes you wonder if there is someone else involved.

Frank C. Etier said...

This phrase, " and now you’re going to break it for me." would be more blunt if you left off the two words at the end.
Readers will likely expect a strong reaction from her, more than just a reference to movie plots.
Well done!

Cecilia Corona said...

I wonder who did it then?! Great way to leave us hanging. Can't wait till next week.

Carrie-Anne said...

He's probably got to do a lot to prove he's not the one who took the pills, even if she still loves him.

Sarah W said...

I really, really hope he's not lying. I really, really hope it's that other guy, the "nice" one.

But it's totally understandable that she doesn't believe him.

Charmaine Gordon said...

Frank is so right. The scene needs a stronger reaction from her as he tries to wheedle his way out by lying. You know how to fix it. You write so well.

Amalie Cantor said...

I think I'm probably one of the only people who hopes he DID do it. But maybe that's because I've been binge watching House on Netflix most of the Christmas break. Addicts are addicts, no matter how much you might love them. But I doubt you're heading that direction, so c'est la vie.

Great snippet! Really enjoyed it! :-)

Emmy Gatrell said...

Great snippet! I feel for him.

Siobhan Muir said...

He's disappointed in her because his history suggests his actions? Typical. But if it is a setup, it's easy to believe. Good snippet, Elaine. :)

gemma parkes said...

Aw, I don't like him jumping to conclusions! Grr, you have captured this scene really well.

Chelle Cordero said...

I think she is trying to remove herself from the scene by referring to fictional movie plots, I think his "hurt" is actually getting through to her. I don't know if he is being sincere or just a good actor. Great way to keep a reader coming back for answers.

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

Makes me think he's telling the truth and there is someone else. Can't want to find out.

Gem Sivad said...

This is a big deal in a relationship. If she's not disappointed in him, I am. Great writing!

JTsuruoka said...

You've got me wondering who it was now... Nicely written scene!

Veronica Scott said...

I trust him! No idea why, I just do....I'm enjoying the story and I hope I'm right about this guy but for sure I'm going to enjoy the process of finding out. Great snippet!