My Books!

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors

Welcome to Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors, your chance to sample the work of a talented group of authors. When you are finished here you can find more snippets at:

http://www.wewriwa.com
https://www.facebook.com/groups/SnippetSunday/

I'm going to do one more excerpt from the book I've been sharing. It's called Flood, and if you're a regular visitor you know that my heroine suspects the man she loves of stealing pain killer from her clinic. After all the fireworks and the breaking up are over, she goes home, and he thinks about what he's lost. The whole area is about to have a flood which is why the ceiling of Caleb's rental house is leaking. I've done some creative punctuation for the sake of length.

Plink. Plink. Plink; Caleb watched as the drops of water falling from the ceiling bounced on the formica table top. Plink. Plink. Plink: the water had reached the edge of the table now. Plink. Plink. Plink; it cascaded off the table into the floor.
He’d come so close to having it all, to having everything he had wanted since he was old enough to know what he was missing. It didn’t seem like so much to ask, just someone to love him and hold him when life hurt too much. To belong somewhere, to have a feeling of homecoming and welcome at the end of the day. Why was that too much?

16 comments:

P.T.Wyant said...

What do you mean, "one more excerpt"! You can't quit now!

Great snippet -- I love the water dripping. Does he even really notice it? (I know he's watching it, but is it registering at all?)

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

Oh it's not too much to ask. He definitely needs a hug.

The water dripping would drive me crazy. lol But he was beyond caring. Great imagery.

Teresa Cypher said...

I feel so bad for him. Almost had it all... But I'm hooked. I think he's going to get it back. :-) Is this on Amazon?

I think that each plink should be italicized, or did I recall that wrong? I'm pretty sure that words that imitate sounds are italicized.

If you put commas between the plinks, you easily stay in the 8 sentence range. :-)

gemma parkes said...

Aw, no it's not too much to ask! I want to give him a big hug!

Sarah W said...

Oh, Elaine, this is just heartbreaking!

He must get her back! And to echo Teresa (sort of), where can we find the rest of this? We need to read it all!

Siobhan Muir said...

I think Teresa is right about the word "plink". Good snippet, Elaine. :)

Jennifer Reynolds said...

Poor thing. I hope things work out soon.

Gem Sivad said...

I hope he gets what he wants. He sounds lonely and frightened. He sure needs a hug and someone to love him.

JTsuruoka said...

Nice piece of introspection. The dripping is an effective image.

Claire Gillian said...

Aww, poor guy. Definitely a hug is what the doctor needs to prescribe him.

Carrie-Anne said...

That's a really poignant snippet. I feel for him so much.

Cecilia Corona said...

Hooked. Can't wait to see if things work out.

Veronica Scott said...

Awww,I like him so much and the plinking rain was a perfect accompaniment to his thoughts...have really been enjoying this story. Another great 8! I want more :-)

Iris Blobel said...

Lovely paragraph. Don't we all want a little bit of that?

Kate Warren said...

It's not too much to ask. Don't give up, Caleb! Fight for her!

Author, Neva Rodriguez said...

Awe, very sad, but Caleb had better get on it!