http://www.wewriwa.com
https://www.facebook.com/groups/SnippetSunday
This excerpt is from the book I just finished writing. For the past three weeks my heroine has been courted by two men, one an upstanding man in the community, and one an ex-convict. In last week's excerpt she seemed to have chosen the convict, but this is what happened when she stayed the night at his house. She's in his bathroom brushing her teeth. I've used some creative punctuation to get the length I wanted. It's unedited so give a yell if you see something I need to fix.
The
medicine cabinet had three small shelves that were mostly free of clutter. Oh, there was the toothpaste on the bottom shelf. Good; they used the same brand.
As she reached for the tube, she noticed the small bottle on the second shelf, the
one partly hidden behind a big can of shaving cream. Her veins filled with ice
when she identified one of the missing bottles of pain killer from the clinic.
A wave of dizziness overcame her. She dropped
down onto the toilet and hung her head between her knees. There was only one
way that Caleb could have gotten that bottle; he had been the one who broke into the clinic. 
Hmmm... It's going to be interesting to see what she does with the information. (On the other hand, he might not have been the one that broke in, but maybe he knows who did...)
ReplyDeleteInteresting ... now I wonder whether he really is still the badie or was he set up?
ReplyDeleteOh no! I really liked him... Can't wait to see what she does with the information.
ReplyDeleteWell that stinks! Great snippet this week.
ReplyDeleteAh ha. Yes. That would be a painful revelation. Nicely done, Elaine.
ReplyDeleteElaaaaaine!! No!
ReplyDeleteI refuse to believe it. I think he was set up.
wow, quite the shocking find! great way to rump up the tension!
ReplyDeleteGood scene. It's very well-paced. I think the last piece of the last line is not needed though.
ReplyDeleteHow painful to lose trust in someone! Great snippet. I think that the last line, while obvious, helps to make her realization that much more pointed.
ReplyDeleteOups, that's really bad! Now he is going to get in trouble on the top of being in pain... He could have asked for them instead of breaking in, what was he thinking!
ReplyDeleteI like her reaction, she has a real dilemma to face.