Medieval Weddings Part 2

Welcome back to my series on medieval romance and weddings. Last Friday we left off with the feast after the wedding ceremony, but I didn’t mention the wedding cake. Yes, they had wedding cakes back then. It was the custom for guests to bring small cakes to the feast. They were stacked on top of each other, and the bride and groom tried to kiss over the top of the stack without knocking it over. If they succeeded it was thought to bring luck and good fortune. Over time the custom of covering the cakes with the same icing evolved, and the modern wedding cake was born.

Wedding gifts were different in the medieval period. Every marriage had at least three gifts exchanged. The first gift was the dowry which the bride’s family presented to the groom. The second gift was from the groom’s family. They gave a house and an income (a way to make a living) to the newly married couple. The third gift was given to the priest who conducted the ceremony.

It was also customary for a groom to present a bride with a gift of furniture after their wedding night. This gift was to compensate the bride for her loss of virginity.

On the wedding day itself brides primped in order to look their best. They did use cosmetics and would paint every inch of their faces, just as we do. They’d also be sure their hairline was okay and didn’t need replucking. Back then they thought a high forehead was beautiful, and they plucked their hair to get it.

If the bride was wealthy she probably put on some jewelry. In the Middle Ages all gems had symbolic meaning. Here’s a list of common gems and their meaning.

Chrysoprase: Virtue
Red Jasper: Love
Beryl: Purification
Green Jasper: Faith
White Jasper: Gentleness
Amethyst: Christ's martyrdom
Chalcedony: Closeness to God
Emerald: Christian hope
Sardonyx: Chastity or humility
Chrysolite: Heavenly life
Sapphire: Heaven-bound
Hyacinth: God's grace

The wedding ceremony itself took place outside the church door before entering the church for a nuptial mass. During the ceremony in front of the church doors the man stood on the right side and the woman stood on the left side facing the door of the church. The reason they did it this way was because woman was formed out of a rib in the left side of Adam.

Due to the harsh realities of the times some people weren’t married in church at all. They were married in castles. That was okay as long as you got a priest to bless the union later.

After the ceremony itself the feast would begin. It was an amazing celebration filled with minstrels, jugglers, and other entertainers. Relatives came from far and wide to mix and mingle with the local folk. Often to mark the day a noble would free prisoners. Beggars lined up at the gates to feast on leftover food.

Our word honeymoon came from another custom of the time. For a month after the marriage the bride and groom drank honeyed mead. So the word honeymoon was born.

Does a medieval wedding sound like fun? As I did research for this article I found that lots of modern brides have medieval theme weddings. Some of their dresses and cakes are fantastic. What about you? Want to share something about your special day?

Medieval Wedding Traditions

Planning a wedding is a major undertaking! It costs a lot of money and frazzles your nerves, right? We sure were frazzled when my son got married. The week before his wedding the florist doubled the price of the flowers, the caterer cancelled, and the maid of honor was hospitalized. Yeah, we were frazzled. I bet it was that way for medieval brides too. Here’s the lowdown on a medieval wedding.

Let’s start with the engagement ring. The tradition of diamond engagement rings started with the Archduke Maximilian of Austria when he gave a diamond ring to Mary of Burgundy in 1477. Italians favored diamond engagement rings because they believed that diamonds were created from the flames of love. Naturally, not everyone could afford diamond rings. Peasants often broke a coin in two parts with the bride keeping one and the groom the other.

In Britain, a gold wedding ring was given to the bride’s family, and during the ceremony a gold ring was put on and taken off of three of the bride’s fingers before being placed on the third finger of her left hand. Three times symbolized the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The ring was worn on the third finger because of the ancient Romans who believed that the vein in the third finger ran directly to the heart. The wearing of rings on that finger joined the couple's hearts and destinies.

Now what about the dress? Every bride wants a pretty dress, usually white or off-white, but things were different in the medieval era. In that era a bride’s color of choice would be blue because blue was the color of purity back then. If she couldn’t have a blue dress, the bride and groom would decorate their clothes with blue ribbons or perhaps a blue band at the bottom of their attire. Velvet was a popular fabric for wedding dresses, some of which were relatively low cut. White wasn’t really popular until centuries later when Queen Victoria wore a white dress to be married in. Peasants often had no special dress. They simply wore their best.

Veils signified purity after the Crusaders brought the custom back from the Holy Land. They were also supposed to protect the bride from the evil eye. Brides also made headpieces of flowers-orange blossoms if you were rich-to wear in your hair. By the way, a bride usually wore her hair loose which was one of the only if not the only time she did so.

Then as now, brides wore a blue garter. It was the custom for wedding guests to accompany the bride and groom to their marriage bed. Rowdy guests often tried to grab a portion of the bride’s clothes. To keep them busy the bride threw her garter. Why did the people want a part of the bride’s clothes? Because tradition held that any man who gave his love bride’s clothes would be guaranteed faithfulness.

Brides also carried a bouquet which had a practical purpose. People didn’t bathe back then as often as we do, so if the groom smelled bad the bride could put the bouquet under her nose.

What about the attendants? The maid of honor sure had a lot to do. For a week or so before the wedding the maid of honor was at the beck and call of the bride, doing just about everything for her. She helped with the decorations, prepared the bouquet, and helped the bride into her dress on the wedding day.

The best man was chosen by the groom to help him fight off any disgruntled suitors who might cause trouble for the bridal couple.

Now for the food. A feast always followed the wedding ceremony even if the couple was poor. Here’s the menu from an Italian wedding in 1488: pastries with pine nuts and sugar; other cakes made with almonds and sugar (similar to marzipan); asparagus; sausages and meatballs; roast partridge and sauce; gilded and slivered whole calves’ heads; capons and pigeons; ham, roasted suckling pig, and wild boar; whole roast sheep with sour cherry sauce; variety of roasted birds; chicken with sugar and rosewater; a mixture of eggs, milk, sage, flour, and sugar; quinces; preserves made with sugar and honey; ten different tortes with candied spice.

Drinks probably included water, ale, beer, mead, milk, and wine. The newly married couple would drink honeyed mead for a month after the wedding which is where the term honeymoon comes from.

Okay, I know we aren’t finished, but this post is getting kind of long so I’ll finish it next week. Then we’ll talk about gifts, entertainment, makeup, and the ceremony itself. See you then.

Medieval Marriage

Today when people get married we assume they did it because they’re in love, but things were different back in the Middle Ages. During that time most marriages were arranged by parents and were little more than business arrangements. Sometimes a man would get to pick his bride, but women almost never chose the groom. Of course, if you were a peasant you had a better chance of marrying for love because you didn’t have to worry about things like uniting with a wealthy, noble family and extending your families holdings and power. Even so, some peasant marriages were also arranged.

In the case of the nobility, marriages were arranged when the bride and groom were little more than children. Girls were often married by the time they were twelve and boys seventeen, but the groom was usually older than the bride, and some people were actually in their early twenties before they married. For men, it might be even later. On the whole this may seem a bit early, but they did it because women lived such short lives. They had to get married early so they could produce children. Of course producing children is one reason why women died so young. The groom also received a dowry or gift from the bride’s parents. This money was his to keep forever. Naturally the bigger the dowry, the more appealing the bride.

After a marriage was arranged a notice was placed on the church door. The church wanted to be sure that there was no impediment to the marriage. Actually, there were a lot of reasons for prohibiting a marriage. One was that the bride and groom were too closely related. Rape, adultery, or incest would also stop a marriage. People couldn’t be married by a man who had killed someone, nor could they be married during Lent or Advent.

Once you were married it was probably forever. Divorce is common today, but it wasn’t in the Middle Ages. During that time there were few acceptable reasons for divorce. One acceptable reason was if either the man or woman was not of legal age, 12 for girls and 14 for boys. Also, if the husband or wife had previously made a religious or monastic vow or were not Christian the marriage was dissolved. The last reason for divorce was if the woman, not the man, was incapable of sexual relations.

In the end, we can see that most nobles married virtual strangers. Some of the couples fell in love, but I imagine the best some of them could do was become friends. It might be interesting to note that if a wife irritated a husband, it was perfectly acceptable for him to beat her. Men were forbidden from killing or maiming the women, but that’s about all.

Drop back next week when we’ll talk about the wedding ceremony itself. People enjoyed weddings back then too.