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Saturday, May 3, 2014

Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors

My excerpt today comes from my current WIP. It starts where I left off last week. Feel free to leave feedback because this is totally unedited work.

Long shadows across the ocean mimicked Rhett’s mood as he slowly dragged himself out of his car. Coming home at the end of a long session in Washington always thrilled him, but tonight… Drawing a deep breath, he ignored the majesty of the sea and the fresh-smelling, salty breeze and went inside.
“Why, Rhett, you’re early,” Alex cried, her face aglow. She set down a wine glass and danced over to greet him, looking very much like poetry in motion. He threw his arms around her and buried his face in her hair, well aware that this was the last time he’d touch her before he ripped their lives apart. Once she found out what he had to say their world would be different no matter what she decided to do. 
           His head buzzed and he felt dizzy as emotion ripped and tore at his vitals; what would he do if she left him? 

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16 comments:

Siobhan Muir said...

Whoa, this is terribly intriguing. Nicely done snippet, Elaine. Great snippet.

P.T.Wyant said...

Color me intrigued. I'm dying to know what it is that he has to tell her.

Elyzabeth M. VaLey said...

What does he have to tell her? He's so upset... great snippet.

Teresa Cypher said...

Uuuuugh! WHAT does he have to tell her. Excellent job of sucking the reader in, Elaine!

Write faster! This is already on my TBR! :-)

Gem Sivad said...

What a tease. 'm afraid to find out what he's done. (But of course I need to know and I'll be back.)

gemma parkes said...

Excellent snippet that put me right in the scene with them. Great tension for the following scene.

Marcia said...

Now what, now what?? Great sense of suspense here.

Possible tweak: maybe drop "his head buzzed" or "he felt dizzy" since the meaning of both is almost the same.

It reads great though. Very smooth.

Millie Burns said...

Wow, what the heck does he have to say to her?

Charmaine Gordon said...

Lovely description setting the scene and then POW!Suspense ahead. Exceptional snippet.

Sue Ann Bowling said...

Boy, what happened in this last trip?

sue said...

Lives ripped apart - don't like the sound of that

Amy said...

Wow! I so want to know what he has to tell her! Great job building suspense!

Amy Durham

alexisduranblog.com said...

What a lot of emotion and scene setting packed into this snippet. Very nicely written, and quite the cliff hanger as well.

Veronica Scott said...

Oh my, intense. You really capture that feeling of the last few minutes before the whole world changes due to some announcement. Mnor quibble, just me, but the name Rhett takes me straight to GWTW. Sorry! Excellent excerpt, can't wait to read more.

Anne Lange said...

Very intriguing. He's definitely worried about the outcome. Nice snippet.

Sarah W said...

Like everyone else, I can't wait to see what news he's bringing!

Great set up, Elaine!