Drawing a
deep breath, he stepped away from her, hoping he hadn’t squeezed her too hard. “Let’s go upstairs to talk.”
She laughed,
the sweet, ringing sound full of the joy they’d always taken in each other. He
bit his lip so hard he tasted blood. It was then that he noticed the silence in
the room. His parents and both of his sons were staring at him as if he were a
stranger who’d barged his way into their living room, a man that they halfway
feared.
Judge Landers
cleared his throat. “Did you have a good trip?”
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I'm wondering about the bad news. But I'm also curious about that phrase, "a man they halfway feared." Is he someone who rules his home with an iron fist? Or were you referring to their expressions of surprise?
ReplyDeleteThey saw that something was wrong because he wasn't acting like he usually does. ILl work on that part to make it clear.
ReplyDeletePatricia asked the one question I had, and you answered it, so I'll just say that the anticipation over his news is killing me, Elaine!
ReplyDeleteSomething is not quite right here., Elaine. She's joyous whens eeing him again yet in another room when he enters, sons and parents see something different. Maybe clarify. You have our interest.
ReplyDeleteUh oh...this snippet feels ominous, like he isn't the only one with bad news to tell?? Great job of delivering tension, Elaine. :-)
ReplyDeleteHmmm, I know he has something to say, but from your description it sounds like they know something about him, too!
ReplyDeleteI wonder what's happened? You painted a vivid scene and i can't wait to see where this is going!
ReplyDeleteSounds as if the news he has has somehow changed him.
ReplyDeleteVery intense and really leaves me wondering - in a good way. Nice snippet.
ReplyDeleteHighly intriguing and can't wait to find out more. Terrific snippet!
ReplyDeleteI really like this snippet--she's happy to see him, he's clearly very sad/tense about news he has to give her, his family knows (?) something is wrong. It actually brought a tear to me eye.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely an intriguing snippet. Makes me wonder why the rest of them are staring at him like that--what do they see that he and she don't?
ReplyDeleteVery intriguing...makes me wonder what the story behind it is.
ReplyDeleteGreat scene. I take it he didn't notice the other people when he came in? I am intrigued by what it is that he has to tell her...
ReplyDelete