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Sunday, May 25, 2014

Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors

Welcome to Snippet Sunday. Here's the secret some of you have been waiting to find out. I'm picking up from where I left off last week. My hero came home with life changing news for his wife. Totally unedited. See anything I need to fix?  From my latest WIP:

“Who’s the boy?” she asked as she stared at the blonde child in the photo. “He looks like a Landers.”
“He is.”
“Well? Are you going to make me pull it out of you? Who is he?”

The buzzing dizziness he’d felt earlier returned with a vengeance. “He’s my son.”

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17 comments:

  1. Gem SivadMay 25, 2014 at 6:42 AM

    Brilliantly written. Simple,very realistic dialogue. The answer he gives his wife explains the white noise in his head.

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  2. UnknownMay 25, 2014 at 8:30 AM

    wow! now we need to know the reaction to such revelation! great work!

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  3. FCEtierMay 25, 2014 at 9:07 AM

    Once he accepts it himself, he can answer with pride, "He's my son!"
    Well done.

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  4. JennaMay 25, 2014 at 11:27 AM

    Still a lot of tensions here. Revelations always have reactions. Can't wait for that. Simply but beautifully written.

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  5. Veronica ScottMay 25, 2014 at 11:42 AM

    Ah, can't wait for the backstory on this...a very tense moment for them. Excellent excerpt!

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  6. Teresa CypherMay 25, 2014 at 12:07 PM

    Wow! Life changing, indeed! Nicely done, Elaine. I really want to know more!

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  7. P.T.WyantMay 25, 2014 at 12:13 PM

    No wonder he's been afraid that this could bring his world crashing down. I'm looking forward to her reaction.

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  8. Siobhan MuirMay 25, 2014 at 2:59 PM

    Oh, that's a helluva bombshell. Great snippet, Elaine. I think it flows pretty well as is.

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  9. AnonymousMay 25, 2014 at 4:16 PM

    Nice. I'm relieved it's not something terrible. Life altering, yes, but possibly hopeful. Like everyone else, I can't wait to see her response.

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  10. MarciaMay 25, 2014 at 6:34 PM

    Oh there's a "what happens next??" moment if I ever saw one! Strong excerpt, Elaine. Cliffhanger!

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  11. Sue Ann BowlingMay 25, 2014 at 8:55 PM

    How old is the child compared to his marriage?

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  12. Elaine CantrellMay 25, 2014 at 9:23 PM

    Sue Ann, the boy is seven, and they've been married for ten years.

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  13. Charmaine GordonMay 25, 2014 at 10:30 PM

    Just how understanding can a wife be? You've got us hanging here. Is it Sunday yet? Terrific, Elaine.

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  14. JTsuruokaMay 26, 2014 at 1:28 AM

    I think it's working. You've got strong dialogue and have ratcheted up the tension.

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  15. Karysa FaireMay 26, 2014 at 3:10 AM

    Ouch. Poor... everyone. :-( Really well done.

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  16. Chelle CorderoMay 26, 2014 at 10:53 PM

    Oh my, quite a revelation. I'm certainly intrigued by what his wife has to say.

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  17. LindaMay 31, 2014 at 8:36 AM

    Oh that's not what you would expect to hear from your husband.
    Now so many things can happen.

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