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Saturday, July 17, 2021

Saturday Sample and Weekend Writing Warriors

 Today I'd like to share an excerpt from my new WIP. I started writing this a few years ago, but I put it aside in favor of other manuscripts. It's time now to pick it back up. I'm struggling to find a title for it, and I don't have a blurb yet, but here's the beginning of the book. If you see anything I need to fix please say so. I've given you ten sentences and a few more to spare.

The plane shuddered, and the seatbelt light flickered on.  Almost immediately the passengers heard Captain Anders’ voice over the intercom.  “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve hit a little turbulence, but it’s nothing to worry about.  Please remain in your seats until the seatbelt light goes off.  We should be landing in Miami within the hour.”

Brent Holloway looked out the window and saw that the plane had entered a dark cloud.  Couldn’t the weatherman ever get it right?  This morning’s forecast had called for clear weather.  

The middle-aged lady in the seat beside him cleared her throat and tapped Brent’s shoulder.  “Ah, you don’t think we’re in trouble, do you?”

“No, ma’am, I’m sure everything’s fine.  It’s not unusual for planes to encounter turbulence.”

“I haven’t been on a plane in years,” the woman confessed.  “I’m afraid to fly.”

Brent gave her a reassuring smile.  “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’m a pilot myself, and I’m not concerned.”

“What kind of planes do you fly?”

Brent grinned.  “I fly these big babies.  I work for this airline.”

The woman’s shoulders relaxed.  “You must have been on vacation,” she correctly guessed.  Do you have any idea where we are?”

“Yes, ma’am.  We just passed Bimini Island.”

“Isn’t that in the Bahamas?”

Brent never answered because Stephanie Monroe, one of the flight attendants, stopped beside their seats and said with a smile, “Captain Holloway, Captain Anders would like to see you for one moment, please.”            

“Sure thing,” Brent answered.

His companion had started to chew on her bottom lip, so Brent gave her shoulder a little squeeze.  “I’ll be back in a minute.  Then I’ll tell you about the time one of my passengers sneaked a pet squirrel onboard.  It caused quite a commotion.”

The woman laughed.  “I bet it did.” 

Brent followed Stephanie toward the cockpit.  “What’s wrong?” he whispered.

“I don’t know.  Anders just said to get you in a hurry.”


Jessica E. Subject said...

I'm intrigued with this introduction! Not only with what's actually happening with this flight, but I also want to hear the story about the squirrel. LOL

Veronica Scott said...

Ooh, I'm highly intrigued already. I love stories set on airplanes in trouble....great snippet, need MORE.

Kate Hill said...

That's an exciting snippet! I'm afraid of what's happening on that plane!

Teresa Cypher said...

That is a fantastic beginning, Elaine! I do want to read more!

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

What a beginning! I can't wait to find out more.

Ed Hoornaert said...

Something's sure wrong!
And my apologies for taking so long to make the rounds.

E.D. Martin said...

I want to hear more about the squirrel too! Maybe something he can tell to distract everyone from the upcoming plane crash...