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Saturday, August 7, 2021

Saturday Sample and Weekend Writing Warriors

Today I'd like to share an excerpt from my new WIP. I started writing this a few years ago, but I put it aside in favor of other manuscripts. It's time now to pick it back up. I'm struggling to find a title for it, and I don't have a blurb yet, but here's the beginning of the book. If you see anything I need to fix please say so. I've given you ten sentences and a few more to spare.

On Sunday after you finish here you can find more excerpts from a talented group of authors at

Last Week

Anders grabbed the radio and tried to raise a reply.  They still caught fragments of voices, but they didn’t think anyone had answered them.  

  Brent took a deep breath and blew out hard.  “We’re inside the cloud again.” 

The cloud had assumed gigantic proportions and changed color.  They seemed to be flying through a tunnel in a yellowish, gray mist, a tunnel illuminated by bright flashes of light from within the monstrous cloud.  All of them saw the patch of blue sky at the end of the tunnel. 

“Increase air speed,” Healy yelled.  “The damn tunnel’s closing up ahead!”

“Go, Mike!” Brent urged. “We have to get out of the cloud!”

Anders gave it his best shot.  The engines whined in Brent’s ears, but it almost seemed as if they didn’t move at all while up ahead the tunnel continued to narrow.  

They almost made it, but at the last second the tunnel closed with a rumble of thunder.  The plane fell into a spiraling vortex that opened in front of them.  It shook as if a giant hand had reached down from the sky to rock it. 

The plane nose-dived.  Healy screamed as Anders’ eyes rolled back into his head, and his hands dropped into his lap. 

Excerpt: We've picked up at the place where I left off.

Abruptly, the plane fell out of the cloud into a beautiful summer afternoon.  What the blazes!  One moment they had been fighting the cloud, the next they had left it behind as if it had never existed.  Brent rolled his shoulders to relax his stiff muscles. The electronic gauges had returned to normal, and … no! No, No, No! The engines had stalled.

“Anders!” Brent screamed.  “Anders!  Wake up!  The engines have stalled!”

Anders didn’t move.  

“Help me, Holloway!” Healy cried.  

Mike had either been knocked out cold, or he was dead.  Either way they didn’t have time to help him.  Desperately they fought to restart the engines.  For a moment Brent thought they’d fail, but with a high-pitched scream the engines fired.  They climbed to cruising altitude and put the plane on autopilot.  Brent ran his sleeve across his forehead to wipe the sweat away and turned to Healy, “What was that?”

“I don’t know,” Healy replied, his voice shaky.  “I’ve been flying for fifteen years, and I never saw anything like it.”  He stared out of the window as if he feared the killer cloud might still be lurking nearby.  “Mike okay?”

Brent swiveled around in his seat.  “Mike?  Mike, wake up.”

Anders moaned, but he didn’t move. 

“He’s alive anyway,” Brent said.  “Better radio Miami to have ambulances and paramedics on hand.  We probably have some hurt passengers too.  I guess I’d better check.”

Healy laid a restraining hand on Brent’s arm as he started to climb out of his seat.  “Wait.  What if the cloud…”

“Comes back.”

Healy nodded, and Brent relaxed into the pilot’s seat.  Frank had a good point.  “Better call Miami,” he repeated.


Nancy Gideon said...

Exhaling . . . Whew! What a ride.

Jessica E. Subject said...

Wow, that was a close one!! I wonder what else is in store when they contact Miami.

Teresa Cypher said...

I have a lot of questions--like, what just happened? Where are they now? Is it still the same date? Sooooo many possibilities!

Aurora Springer said...

What did happen? Is Miami still there?

Veronica Scott said...

I LOVE stories like this!!! More...I want to read it all right now. Terrific snippet.

Kate Hill said...

I wonder if they'll actually be able to contact Miami? Exciting excerpt!