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Saturday, September 21, 2013

The Best Selling Toy Of The Season

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors. My excerpt today is from my Christmas release The Best Selling Toy Of The Season. In this excerpt my hero arrives to take my heroine and her two boys on their first date. Michael is five and Teddy is six. When you finish here, you can find more lovely sentences at

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Two pairs of blue eyes checked him out.

“Are you taking us to dinner with you?” Teddy said, refusing to budge from the center of the door.

“Yes, is that okay with you?”

“Dan won’t like it,” Michael warned.

“How do you know?”

“We heard him tell Mama to stay away from you.” Michael’s lip quivered in spite of his manful efforts to hold it steady. “Are you a bad man?”

Who’d want to be Nikki Lane?  Sure, she’s beautiful, but her family isn’t much.  She isn’t married either, and supporting her two boys on a minimum wage job has cost her more than one sleepless night. 

Tommy Price is everything Nikki isn’t.  He lives on James Street, the best street in town.  Naturally, his rich, influential family has a suitable woman picked out for him to marry. 

Tommy and Nikki’s two diverse worlds literally collide one evening at the discount store where Nikki works, giving both of them a glimpse into a life they never knew existed. 

Can the growing attraction between them bridge the vast gulf which separates them, or will their romance end before it even begins?     


Teresa Cypher said...

Wow! Great excerpt, Elaine. Very visual. I could see the little guy's lip quivering!

Well...IS he a bad man??? lol Nice little cliffhanger.

The book looks good!

Elaine Cantrell said...

Thanks, Teresa. Michael turned out to be one of my most endearing characters.

A.S. Fenichel said...

I love the snippet. I'm already in love with the little boy. So adorable.

Veronica Scott said...

I love the story premise and the little boy is very well written, feel like I know him. Excellent excerpt!

sue said...

sounds like a sweet story, with a message too perhaps?

Charmaine Gordon said...

I'm hooked. A small kid, lips quivering, hoping for the best, expecting the worst. Beautiful, Elaine.

Susan Stuckey said...

Very nice 8, Elaine. Great dialogue and wonderful portrayal of a child's innocent/naive questions. Beautiful!

Unknown said...

great scene with Tommy and the kids. I think I don't like Dan already for giving the poor boy a scare.

S.J. Maylee said...

Great question, I want to know the answer too.

Elyzabeth M. VaLey said...

Children always tell the truth. Great 8!

Sue Ann Bowling said...

Leaves me wondering about the boys' father.

Siobhan Muir said...

I like the use of the kids to tell us something that happened off screen. Nicely done. :)


Great capturing of a child's mentality and emotions!

Unknown said...

That's a delightful eight. Your hero sounds like he's a sweetie.