I'd really love to know your opinion.
He
set his jaw against the sudden urge to touch her. Her skin would feel like
velvet under his hand as he looked into her eyes and slowly lowered his mouth
to her moist, red lips. She would taste as sweet as sugar as she allowed him
access to her mouth. Then she’d touch him. Her arms would surround him and pull
him close. The kissing would intensify as masculine skin met feminine.
Caleb
drew a deep breath. This line of thinking had to stop right now. Aria was his
boss, not his lover.Photo Credit: By Walter Siegmund (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/) or CC-BY-2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons
Best wishes for 2014 and good luck with the submission, It seems to be the week for submitting work. I sent one off a couple of days ago and then heard from several others they'd done the same recently.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sherry. Good luck with your submissions.
ReplyDeleteIt’s a new year so writers submit.
ReplyDeleteMaybe change “sweet as sugar” It might be considered a cliche
And instead of using “would” perhaps he imagined.....
What interesting thoughts sliding through his head about his boss lol
Oh wow you had me going for a minute. What a great fantasy description. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThe Murders of Polly Frisch
Someone is going to have trouble concentration on work.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the submission!
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to see a man fantasizing for a change---and I love the last line.
Sounds like he's setting himself up for trouble. Good snippet, Elaine/ :)
ReplyDeleteLove that last line's reality check!
ReplyDelete(Why do I think that reality check is going to bounce?)
A mildly sensual scene...I really like this: "The kissing would intensify as masculine skin met feminine."
ReplyDeleteThat last line is a humdinger! lol. I like it!
Elaine, I enjoy that your stories don't cross the line into explicit writing. :-)
Good luck with the submission. I wish you much success. :-)
I totally enjoyed the snippet and the last line was really amusing (because we all know he'll keep fantasizing, right? Or there's no story to be told here). Excellent excerpt! Best wishes on the submission...
ReplyDelete