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Saturday, March 30, 2013

Sweet Saturday Sample: Big Tipper

Welcome to Sweet Saturday Sample. My sample today comes from a book that's been sitting on my computer for several years. I keep meaning to go back and edit it, but it's more fun to write new stuff. Anyway, in this excerpt, my hero Wes just arrived at the diner where my heroine Caroline works. Caroline doesn't want to wait on him at all. She threw herself at Wes for months, and all he did was reject her. Caroline speaks first.


“What can I get you?”

“I want a date.”

Caroline frowned.  “Do you mean the date nut bread or the date bars?  We have both.”

“I don’t mean either one.” He smiled so beatifically that Caroline wanted to hit him.  “I want you to give me a date that we can get married.”

He didn’t bother to lower his voice, so several customers' heads swiveled their way.

“I’ll bring you the date bars.  They’re good.”

Caroline hustled away and returned with the date bars and some coffee.  “Here.”  She put a ticket down beside him and ran away before he could try to talk to her. 

Wes ate the date bars and drank his coffee.  He looked at his bill and called, “Caroline, I'm ready to pay.”

Caroline was making a mess of the egg salad anyway, so she dried her hands and went to take his money.  “That’ll be four fifty five.

Wes placed a folded five dollar bill in her hand.  “Keep the change.”

“You’re the last of the big tippers, Wes.”  She went to the register to put the money away, but when she unfolded the five, a diamond ring fell out into the change in the register drawer. 

6 comments:

Jenna said...

You seriously need to finish this one! "He smiled so beautifully that Caroline wanted to hit him." Glorious line! So now what's she going to do with the ring? I need to know!

Sherry Gloag said...

I'm surprised she didn't feel the solidness of the ring folded in the money, but am fascinated. I do hope you finish this, it sounds like a lot of fun.

Sandy Nachlinger said...

What a delightful scene! I hope you'll finish this because I'm already in love with the hero.

Carrie-Anne said...

I like this story! I wonder what caused the change in his attitude?

Elaine Cantrell said...

Thanks for the visits. I hope everyone has a happy Easter. Sandy, I've been missing your excerpts. Carrie Anne, he may have waited too late. Thanks, Sherry, and Jena, for your encoouragement.

Creations by Laurel-Rain Snow said...

OMG! I didn't see that coming...well, except the photo of the diamond ring was a little clue...lol.

Thanks for sharing...and here's MY SWEET SATURDAY SAMPLE