She entered the
barn, a big white structure with a center aisle and stalls on either side. Just inside the door she saw a dark haired man
dressed in jeans and a long sleeved, checked shirt brushing a pretty chestnut
mare. “Hi,” she called.
The man half turned
toward her; wow, he had blue eyes to die for.
The blue was so intense that it reminded her of a blue diamond that
she’d seen at the jewelry store. “Yeah?”
he asked.
“I’m Peyton
O’Malley. I’m supposed to meet Patrick for
a ride.”
“He isn’t here
yet. You can sit on the bench under that
tree outside and wait for him there.”
Instead of leaving
the barn, Peyton stepped toward the man.
“What a beautiful … horse.”
The man quickly
averted his face, but Peyton had seen the dreadful red scars that covered the
entire left side of his face. They
looked like burns. “Wait outside,” he
commanded, scowling at her with the good side of his face.
Picture By Countercanter (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons
wow - that's going to be a bit of conflict I would think. Wonder how he got the scars...
ReplyDeleteWar veteran.
ReplyDeleteNice introductory description of the man with that last paragraph.
ReplyDeleteYou'd asked what might need tweaked before submitting, and this bit sort of jarred me out of the story for some reason: "The man half turned toward her; wow, he had blue eyes to die for. The blue was so intense that it reminded her of a blue diamond that she’d seen at the jewelry store."
Thanks for your input. I'll work on that bit.
ReplyDelete