Saturday Sample and Weekend Writing Warriors
Today I'm continuing with my current WIP. There's nothing much to tell you about the book yet because you've already heard most of what I have written so far. On Sunday when you finish here, you can go to www.wewriwa.blogspot to find more excerpts from a talented group of authors.
Last week:
She froze and looked so stiff he feared she’d shatter if he touched her. “The woman died of cancer three weeks ago. Her parents are too old to keep the boy, so they called me to see if I wanted him.”
Horror washed over her face. She knew what he was going to say.
He drew a deep breath and said it. “I can’t let my son be adopted by strangers. I’m going back to Washington on Thursday to pick him up. “
Nodding, she tripped over her own feet in her hurry to get away from him. “Wait,” he begged. He wasn’t a man who begged, but he’d do it now and be happy for the chance. “I’m sorry. So sorry. I’ve never done a thing like that before or since, and if there was any way to undo it I would. I love you more than my own life, and I betrayed you. That hurts me almost as much as it’s hurt you. You’re my whole world, and I’ve torn your heart out.” His hands fisted. “But even for you I can’t give him up.”
This week's excerpt:
“I never thought you would.”
He reached for her hand and was surprised when she let him take it. “Everything will be fine if you’ll just give it a chance,” he pleaded. “I love you and the boys. Nothing’s changed, and Eric will need a mother as well as a father. Even if you’re mad at me can you find it in your heart to be nice to him? He’s only five years old. He doesn’t understand any of this.”
“Of course.”
She wasn’t listening to him, not now. The vacant expression in her eyes gave her away. Tentatively, he slipped his arms around her, but it was like hugging a beautiful, cold statue. The animation and warmth he’d always felt from her had vanished as if it had never been. It was stupid, but he had to feel her arms around him. “Hold me,” he muttered. When she made no move to hug him, he placed her arms around his waist. She left them there, but she didn’t hold him.
Perfect amount of tension and forced agreement. What else could she say when a child is involved?
ReplyDeleteI feel the chill! Excellent excerpt.
ReplyDeleteWow, that is so intense! Has me thinking how I would react to something like that.
ReplyDeleteHuh! Not sure what he was expecting, especially after that blatant piece of emotional blackmail - trying to make his mistake her problem!
ReplyDeleteOh, I can completely understand why she would react in such a way. He needs to stop being selfish and give her time to take it all in and figure out what she wants to do. That's a lot of emotional information to process.
ReplyDeleteI hate that this is in his POV. I so want to know what she's thinking, what she's feeling. So far we only have his interpretation/perspective on it. I bet hers is totally different. He is being incredibly selfish. But I loved the snippet! Tweeted.
ReplyDeleteI know I missed the beginning of this story, but I don't understand why he underestimates her. Why does he think she'll reject the boy? As Jenna wrote, I want to know what she feels/thinks about this situation. You don't reveal his feelings, just his words, which are not kind to her. Her actions say a lot.
ReplyDeleteWhat a situation. Their entire future is at stake, and I'm not sure simply because she acquiesced to his need to take the child--that she's actually feeling it. Interesting setup for a story. They all have a lot of growing to do. And the risk of it not working is so high. :-) Excellent conflict!
ReplyDelete